


Sweat and Dirt

by Wolfgang_in_the_Stars



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anxiety, Depression, I'll add tags and relationships as I'm writing, Inspired by Monsta X The Clan part 1 MV, M/M, Mild Language, Minor Character Death, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Violence, all the relationships are minor except for Taeten, blood mention, it's explicit for the violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2019-06-30 15:05:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15754164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfgang_in_the_Stars/pseuds/Wolfgang_in_the_Stars
Summary: Taeyong lives in a sketchy neighbourhood with Yuta and Johnny. He works nonstop to make his way through university. Meanwhile, Ten and his "brothers" arrive in town, and everything changes after that.





	1. All work and no play

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first long fanfiction I'm writing ! Please leave comments to let me know how it was ~

**Prologue**

 

Taeyong was falling off a cliff. He didn’t remember walking into the void, but here he was, falling into the darkness. He closed his eyes, tears escaping from his shut lids. He was going to die, he knew it, but he felt sort of relieved. He opened his eyes again, but he couldn’t see anything. He wasn’t falling anymore, he was in an obscurity so dense he thought it would swallow him whole. He started screaming. 

Taeyong woke up with a start, and the beginning of a headache. He felt his heart hammering in his chest, and tears were running down his cheeks. He checked the time. 4:56AM read his watch. He knew he wasn’t going to get any more sleep, so he decided to get up. He went to the kitchen and waited sat on the counter while coffee was brewing.   
The kitchen was cramped and old, but it was as clean as it could get. So was the entire flat he shared with two roommates, Johnny and Yuta, who were both older than him. Taeyong had found the flat on the internet, as Johnny and Yuta were looking for someone to share the rent with. They had been charmed by the cooking and the cleaning habits of the younger, and they’d been living together for almost two years now, while they were all going through college. Taeyong liked his roommates, and was fine with their tiny apartment. The only thing that bothered him was the kind of sketchy neighbourhood they lived in, but they couldn’t afford anything else anyways.

At last, the coffee was brewed. Taeyong poured some into his favorite mug — a pitch black one — and went back to his room. He sighed heavily before sitting at his desk to get some work done.

*** *** 

Ten was looking at someone from the distance. It was a man, and he was on the very edge of a cliff. Ten opened his mouth to yell at him to step back, but before any sound could leave his mouth, the man fell. Ten ran to where the other man was standing just a moment ago, and found himself staring at the darkness that was beneath. He fell on his butt, and started to panic. He hadn’t been able to save that man. Someone had died right in front of him again. He’d failed to save whoever that person was.

Ten woke up with a gasp, and began to have a panic attack. He had to be quieter though, or he’d wake the others up, so he bit his hand hard, until he felt his own blood. He bit back his tears, swallowed hard, and forced himself to recite the name of the streets that lead from where his house used to be to downtown. « My name is Ten, I am 22 years old, and I am currently lying in a clearing in the middle of nowhere » he whispered to himself once he was a little calmer. He made himself lay on his back, and look up to the stars. He let himself get lost in the universe and somehow managed to fall back asleep.

 

* * *

 

At 7am, Taeyong stopped studying to get ready for work. His shift started at 8am, but his morning routine was sacred to him. It was the only time he ever took for himself, and getting ready always soothed his nerves. Once his teeth were brushed, his skin cleansed and moisturised, he picked his outfit for the day and arranged his hair. He never ate breakfast, as he didn’t want to waste any time in the morning and he was glad he could save some money by eating less. His skin and hair products were his only luxury, and although his outfits were quite nice, he didn’t own many clothes. He couldn’t afford to waste any money. At 7:45am, he left the flat, careful not to wake his roommates up. The lucky bastards could sleep in while he never got to rest. But Taeyong was not going to complain about his life. Most days, he felt lucky enough to still be alive and to have a place he could call home.

 _Was his shift ever going to end_? It wasn’t that he was bored, or that he had nothing to do. It was just that he had only slept for less than three hours, as his shift the night before had ended at 2am. Taeyong worked at night in a convenient store near their flat. Since it was summer break, he worked during the day too, in the academic library of his university. On weekends, he gave private lessons on top of all that. He was lucky to be smart, as he managed to be a top student despite never getting any rest. He had learned to optimise his time, as he had no one to financially support him. He needed the money, and so he never did anything that he didn’t have to, so as to squeeze in as much working time as he possibly could. Unlike his roommates, he never partied. He never went out with friends — he didn’t have friends anyways. He never read anything he didn’t have to read for university. He hadn’t been to the movies or to a restaurant in years. He had given up so much to fulfill his dream to become a social studies researcher, but he wouldn’t have his life any other way.  
A forced cough brought him back to reality. He had been zoned out for a while, and he blushed slightly as he collected himself.

« How can I help you? » he asked. The young man facing him was smiled at him. He seemed to be in awe for some reason, as if he was fascinated by his surroundings. Taeyong could understand that, the academic library was really beautiful, with wooden floor, high ceilings, and the sense of calm and oldness that it irradiated. He smiled back at the young man.

« Hi, hello. I thought you could help me. See, I’m quite lost.»

  
The man gave him an apologetic smile before slightly raising his eyebrows. Taeyong realised he'd been staring. The man facing him was beautiful. He had a slightly tanned skin, which contrasted nicely with the white teeth that showed when he smiled. His eyes were crescent-shape, with a glint of sharpness in them.

 _Dangerous_ , thought Taeyong instantly. He looked down at his hands and forced himself not to blush this time. He really needed to get himself together. « Yes, of course. » He finally answered, before raising his eyes to meet the others’ again.

« Where do you want to go? » The other man beamed at him before answering. Did he ever stop smiling? Not that Taeyong wanted him to anyways, but the man was a little too bright for him. « I’m trying to get to the dean’s office. I have an appointment with him but I can’t seem to find his office ». Taeyong eyed the young man with suspicion. Who was he, to get to see the dean like that? The latter was barely seen outside of the ceremony at the beginning and at the end of each year; he was known to be a busy and unapproachable old man. Taeyong glanced at his watch and noticed he only had ten minutes of his shift left. « If you can wait for a bit, I can show you. It’s quite complicated to get there, and my shift’s almost over. » Taeyong told him. « Alrighty, » the good-looking man answered, « I’ll wait for you over there ! »

Taeyong sighed. Had he been right to suggest he’d show that guy the way? His guts told him to be careful with him, but Taeyong was too nosy to let go. Weird things had happened lately and he felt this guy knew more than he did.

First, there’d been rumours. Political opponents had started to disappear throughout the country. But no word had been said about it in the news or on the internet. He’d also heard that some people had started a form of resistance, but he didn’t want to be caught looking for information about it on the internet, where it could leave a trace, so he didn’t really know what was going on. There’d been a fire, too, that of the house of someone important close to the government. It might have been done by criminals or by the rebels, but once again, the media hadn’t said much about it. Like everyone else, and maybe more so considering his personal history, Taeyong ached to know more, and that was what had driven him to find out who this guy was and how he was related to the dean. Maybe it had nothing to do with that, maybe he was just a new student, but Taeyong trusted his guts.

*** ***

Ten was staring at the guy he'd talked to at the front desk of the academic library. The young man was quite fit, he thought, but he couldn’t let his mind wander there. So much was at stake, he couldn’t afford to be distracted. Besides, the cute librarian had offered to guide him, which was suspect enough in itself. Ten would have to be careful. He didn’t want to fail now that he’d gone so far. He looked at his watch. Five more minutes to go. He was impatient, but his whole body was aching from the previous night he’d spent sleeping on the hard ground. He’d hoped the grass would help him get more comfortable, but it hadn’t at all. It had been his last night sleeping outside anyways. The others had been complaining that they’d spent a whole month hiding in the woods and he’d tried to stay in a positive mindset, for their sake, but he had to admit he too was pretty tired of it all.

However, starting that day, they’d have a new place to stay. Somewhere they could call home for the next few months, if everything went on smoothly. Ten surely hoped so, he wanted to give the others a sense of safety, even if it was only for a while. His brothers deserved so much better than what life had given them so far, but Ten was doing his best to make their lives easier. He smiled to himself as he thought about those he considered his family. Mark was probably leading them through the day as Ten was away. Mark was younger than him, but he always managed to calm everyone down. Ten wasn’t too worried about them, but he wished he had a phone to keep in touch with them. Anyways, they’d be fine, and tonight they’d all sleep in a real bed for the first time in a while.

At last, it was time to go for the two young men. Ten smiled at the young librarian, although he reminded himself not to drop his guard. He’d just met the guy, but he could feel he was being analysed. The government had spies and sympathisers everywhere, he ought to be careful.

« That way.» The guy said, breaking the silence. « I’m Taeyong by the way. » Ten eyed Taeyong’s reflection in the glass on their right with suspicion. Was he simply making small talk, or was he trying to get some information out of him? Ten felt trapped, he had to answer, but he couldn’t lie. He may be in that guy’s classes when university would start again. He cleared his throat before answering.

« I’m Ten, nice to meet you. » Taeyong beamed at him. Was Ten being overly suspicious? Better careful than dead, he reminded himself. Ten followed him through different corridors, walking in silence for a few minutes, and they reached an elevator eventually.

« We’re almost there, Ten. Will it be ok for you to get back afterwards? I could wait if you want. » Ok, now Ten was getting very suspicious. The guy was being weirdly nice to him. And of course, he’d memorised their itinerary anyways. Who was this guy? Ten would have to ask the dean, and to do backup research on his own. What was the smart thing to do? Keep an eye on the guy and try to find out more about him, or avoid him and wait until he'd asked the dean? Shit, he hadn’t even started his year and he was in trouble already. He decided to test Taeyong’s reactions.

« Thank you! I might be in here for a while … If you don’t mind waiting, I’d be really grateful if you could show me the way back. This place is a labyrinth! », he exclaimed with a smile. He really was good at pretending. « Ok », Taeyong said with a small smile, « I’ll wait here ».

*** ***

Taeyong was playing with fire, he knew that. Ten had waved at him before knocking on the door of the dean’s office. His face had gone all serious, and a chill ran down Taeyong’s spine. « This is a dangerous game you’re playing, Tae Tae » he whispered to himself. He wished he could eavesdrop on what they were saying, but that would just be taking useless risks. Instead, he got his laptop out of his tote bag and started studying. He was taking time of his lunch break for this, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t get some work done. He had asked for complementary work to do during the summer, because Taeyong knew he’d have less time to study when classes would start again in September. 

Taeyong was so engrossed in the essay he was writing he didn’t realise the dean’s office door had opened until he heard Ten thank the dean and say goodbye. Taeyong blinked in surprise. He checked the time on his laptop and realised he had been studying for an hour and a half already. That meant that Ten had spent an hour and a half talking with the dean. The whole thing was odd, really. It didn’t take that much time to go through some formalities, if Ten was a new student. And these things weren’t even supposed to be dealt with by the dean. What could they have possibly talked about? Taeyong was getting more suspicious by the second. Was this guy a government agent? Was Taeyong taking too much risk by spending time alone with this man? He felt scared all of the sudden, but it was too late to back out. He breathed deeply before he decided to talk.

« So … How did it go? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you around, are you a new student? » Taeyong noticed that Ten didn’t even flinch at the sudden questions, but his shoulders were tensed, as if he’d braced himself for this. Maybe Taeyong was overanalysing the situation, but he felt like he was right. He didn’t want to scare Ten away, though, so he decided to give some information about himself first.

« I’m a social studies major, and it’ll be my fourth year studying here. Tell me if you ever need anything, I’ll be happy to help. » He said with a smile. He thought he’d been good at playing innocent, but Ten still seemed tensed. However, his voice was warm when he answered. « Thank you, Taeyong. I’ll remember that. I’ll be studying in third year here starting from September, and I hope you’ll take good care of me. » Ten answered with a smile. « My previous university was much smaller than this one, I’m glad I won’t start the year not knowing anyone. »

Damn, Ten was good at this too. They were both very friendly in the way they talked, but the tension was palpable. Taeyong wouldn’t be able to keep this up much longer, yet he pushed anyway. « Why did you leave your former university? You didn’t like it? » He forced his voice to remain steady as he asked the question. « Oh, it was very nice. But I had to leave. I hope this year will go smoothly. I don’t want to change university again. »

Taeyong had many questions still, and Ten had definitely not given a proper answer, but they were back in the main hall already. He realised Ten had been the one guiding the both of them. The git hadn’t needed him at all.  
Taeyong wondered what this was all about, but before he could add anything, Ten stepped forward and invaded Taeyong’s space. « I really look forward to getting to know you », he said, brushing the other man’s arm as he moved his hand up to readjust his hair, « but I’m afraid I have to go now. See you around, Taeyong, and thank you for everything. » He squeezed Taeyong’s wrist slightly before letting go and striding out of the hall. Taeyong was too dumbfounded to talk. What had just happened? Had Ten been weird all along because he was nervous to talk to him? Their last interaction had definitely been flirt. That guy had even had the audacity to touch him. Taeyong felt completely lost. Had Ten really acted suspiciously only because he was interested in him? He checked the time, and pushed any thoughts about Ten to the back of his mind. He had work to do, and not even a good looking stranger would manage to make him run behind his schedule.

*** ***

Ten strode out of the building. He strode through the park of the university and made it to the streets without starting to freak out. He couldn’t afford to have a breakdown now, so he did the only thing he knew how to and started running like his life depended on it. He ran until downtown. He ran through downtown. He ran until he wasn’t really in the city anymore. There, he spotted a bus stop and waited for a bus to come. He needed to get away from all this as soon as possible. He was dripping with sweat and breathing heavily. Thankfully, he was only wearing a black tee on black jeans. He'd be properly soaked in sweat had he been wearing a sweatshirt. Eventually, the bus arrived. Looking out the window, Ten allowed himself to think about what had happened that morning. Ten had asked the dean, who happened to be a distant relative on his mother's side, who Taeyong was. They’d both looked through his file and found no link between him and the government. What was weird was that they’d find barely anything about him. Nothing on social networking sites, no address before the one he’d written in his university file. And he’d been quite nosy with Ten, asking him about his past. Ten had decided they needed to keep an eye on him, and the dean had agreed. They would arrange that once Ten and his brothers settled in their new home.

Ten had only been reunited with his brothers for five minutes but they were already driving him crazy. « I’ll tell you all about it once I’ve cleaned up! Leave me alone, you gremlins! » His younger brothers had literally jumped on him once he’d got back to their encampment. Ten hadn’t realised how late it was; he’d lost quite a lot of time trying to outrun his thoughts. He finally managed to disentangle himself from his two youngest brothers, Chenle and Jisung, when Jaemin punched him in the arm. « You disappeared for hours! We were all worried! »

Ten felt bad for making his family worry. He pulled them all in a tight hug and said he was sorry. Soon enough, his brothers broke the hug « Go clean up or something, you smell terribly, honestly » Jisung said. Ten laughed and went to the river, farther down in the woods. They’d installed their camp in the middle of the woods, in a place away from all form of path. They movedall their stuff every two days anyways, as they feared they would get caught.  
His family shared no blood ties, but that was irrelevant. For most of them, blood-related people meant nothing anymore. They had all been abandoned at some point, and they had found a place where they all belonged. Ten acted as a leader because he was the one who’d found each and every one of them. He was also the oldest, and he felt he ought to take care of everyone. He had never had feelings as deep as those he had for his brothers. Life could be cruel, but they had managed to go through a lot together.   
Ten undressed and pushed all his thoughts away from his mind. As he cleaned his body in the freezing cold water of the river, he tried to purify his thoughts, to meditate on his day and on his life in general. What did he want? What was he trying to achieve? He couldn’t let minor inconveniences distract him from what he wanted to accomplish. He had to be strong, for himself, and for the kids. He let out a sigh before immersing himself completely in a pool in the river. When he emerged from the river, he felt calmer, ready to talk with his brothers and tell them everything.

« So, we’re moving today? But it’s already 4pm! We have to pack quickly then, or there won’t be any bus to drop us off in the city! » As expected, his brothers had interrupted Ten many times, and Ten had even had to yell to calm them down at some point, but he was sure they all understood the situation by now, although he had kept the details of his encounter with Taeyong to himself, so as to not worry his brothers. He had reviewed the details of their new home with the dean, and everything was ready in the city. They only had to get there, Ten had the key to the flat already. « Alright guys. Mark is right, we have to get ready and leave as soon as possible. Sorry it took me long to come back here, I had a small … inconvenience this morning, but nothing important, don’t worry. Now, let’s all go pack our things, alright? » And so they went and packed everything. None of them owned much, but they had to make the place look like no one had ever lived there. By 6pm, they were all ready and on the bus to go to the city. They were all pretty excited, yet they kept quiet; they couldn’t afford to bring any attention to themselves. They eventually arrived at the building they would be living in. Ten faced his brothers. « You ready for this? » He looked them in the eyes one by one. Haechan nodded slightly and was holding Mark’s sleeve. Mark had a determined look in his eyes. Renjun looked a bit taken aback by the building and the neighbourhood, and he was standing close to Chenle who reached out for Renjun’s hand. Jeno, Jisung and Jaemin were smiling, but Ten didn’t know if they were being confident or if they were laughing at a joke one of the three had made. Ten breathed deeply and unlocked the entry door. They were home.


	2. Cold World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taeyong has new coworkers. Ten is tired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the second chapter !  
> I'll try to update weekly, but school starts next week so I don't know if I'll be able to do so. I hope you'll enjoy this chapter ! I feel like it's a bit slow, but it's important for me to lay the foundation for what's to come !

Taeyong went home after his night shift at the convenient store. He was exhausted. He'd forced himself not to think about Ten and his odd behaviour while he was working, and he had quite managed to do so. However, now that he didn’t have anything to occupy his mind, his thoughts kept coming back to the attractive man. He went to the kitchen and found his two roommates chatting there.

« Taeyongie, you’re home! » Jonnhy exclaimed. « We’ve kept you some food. We ordered Thai food today, we know you like it. »

On days like these, Taeyong felt so grateful for his roommates. They knew he would have gone to sleep without putting anything in his stomach hadn’t they been here to force him to eat something. It wasn’t that he wasn’t hungry after work, but he was generally too tired to cook. « Thanks guys. I’m starving! » Taeyong took a look at what they had kept for him. All his favourite Thai dishes were there. There was a substantial portion of Som Tam — which he liked to call Thai Kimchi but was actually a green papaya salad, a much smaller portion of Pad Thai, and finally some Kun Pao chicken. He put the Pad Thai and the chicken in the microwave, and sat with his friends to eat the salad while the rest was heating up.

« Guys, I had the weirdest day. There was this cute guy at the library, and he was acting really weird. But he was also hitting on me I guess? I still don’t know what to think of that guy. » Taeyong said casually. He needed to vent and his roommates were amongst the few people he trusted enough to share anything personal with. He decided not to tell them about Ten’s appointment with the dean. He wanted to find out more about him before telling them that.

« Tae Tae, are you serious?! Did you two had an actual conversation? Did you get his number? » Johnny could get excited quite easily. « Taeyong, why didn’t you tell us anything earlier? Why would you keep that to yourself? And what’s that cute boy’s name? » Yuta added.

The both of them could be a little overwhelming, but Taeyong had grown used to it. « His name’s Ten. And you guys missed the important part where I said that this guy's weird. He’s a new student, he’ll be a third year. I think I’ll keep an eye on him once classes start. He feels … dangerous. » Yuta and Johnny exchanged a look. « Tae Tae found himself a bad boy and he doesn’t feel like sharing. We get it, Tae. Don’t worry, we’ll keep our distance! » Johnny winked at Taeyong and left the kitchen. Taeyong sighed and looked at Yuta, whom he found staring at him. « Be careful, Tae. If you really think he’s dangerous, you should keep your distance too. I don’t want you to get hurt. »  
Yuta left the kitchen as well, and Taeyong found himself once again alone with his thoughts. He was actually glad to have told his roommates what had happened. It had helped him tone his feelings down. He felt calm enough to try to get some sleep. And boy, he needed it.

*** ***

Ten couldn’t sleep. He and his brothers had spent hours cleaning the apartment. It was quite gross at first, but it looked almost welcoming now. Then, Renjun had cooked some rice to feed the eight of them while Ten and the others had decided who slept in which room. Ten had paired Mark with Haechan, Renjun with Chenle, Jaemin with Jeno, and finally Jisung with himself.

The dean had really taken a good care of them. There were four bedrooms, a big living room, two bathrooms and honestly more space than they had ever had for themselves. He'd told Ten the apartment used to belong to a gang-related guy and had been seized after he had been sent to jail. It was a mystery how the dean ended up with it, but Ten wasn’t going to pry.

Ten knew he should rest, as he'd have many things to take care of the next day. But his thoughts kept circling and coming back to a very cute and suspicious librarian. He forced himself to close his eyes. As soon as he did, he pictured Taeyong’s face. His black eyes seemed quite cold until he smiled. When he did, it lit his whole face and gave him a soft look. His hair was dyed a pale shade of pink, and it looked particularly good on his slightly tanned skin. His over-grown bangs were kept out of his eyes with golden bobby pins, and it looked really good on him. The only detail that had troubled Ten was the dark shadows under Taeyong’s eyes. He had looked properly exhausted, although it had been the morning.

Ten sighed. He had an excellent photographic memory, and he found it quite useful most of the time. But remembering Taeyong’s looks perfectly wasn’t doing him any good. He needed to sleep. He sighed again, and pictured himself walking peacefully through the woods. He could hear the wind blowing through the leaves of the trees surrounding him. He could feel the rich and moist soil under his feet. He went deeper and deeper in the wounds, and eventually, he fell asleep.

*** ***

Morning came all too soon for Taeyong. As per usual, he woke up two minutes before the alarm on his phone went off. He was still pretty tired. Sometimes he felt so tired he wondered whether his body was going to live through another day. It had to, though. He got up, went to the kitchen to start the coffeemaker, and started to get ready for the day. After talking to his friends and sleeping a bit, he thought he could move on from what had happened with Ten. There wasn’t anything he could do about it before classes started again, so he might as well stop thinking about it.

Taeyong arrived a bit early at the university, as he often did. He sat on the stairs leading to the closed doors and put his headphones on. A soft hip hop song started playing. He felt himself relax as the silky voice sang the lyrics.

 _We met for the first time today, we were strangers_  
_and we’re cuddling as if wondering, when were we like that?_

Soon enough, one of his colleagues, Jaehyun, arrived and sat next to him. They stayed in a comfortable silence for a few minutes. Taeyong liked Jaehyun. The latter was younger than him, but something about him made him looked older. He was quite handsome and always dressed nice, although he was not Taeyong’s type. He was a calm and obliging person, and that was what Taeyong appreciated the most about him. Taeyong had never seen him in an argument with anyone, although he could sometimes lose his temper. It never happened in front of the people involved. Jaehyun would just let the tension build within himself, and when he was full of frustration and anger, he would externalise it by isolating himself to yell insults and cursed words for five minutes straight and then calm down. Taeyong had witnessed it, once, and he never wanted to see that again.  
« Time to go work, Taeyong » Jaehyun said at last, as they heard the doors being unlocked behind them. They both got up with a sigh, and went in.

 

The day went by smoothly for Taeyong. He had a well-established routine by now, and he was on autopilot most of the time. That was how he managed to go through his 18-hour days. None of his jobs required his brains, so he let his mind rest while his body navigated through students’ inquiries at the library and customers at the grocery store. If someone had asked him, he would have been incapable of saying what any of the people he’d talked to at work looked like.

Well, except for Ten. The memory of their encounter had played in his head several times throughout the day. So much for him being able to let go.

 

He was on his way home by 4pm. After his shift at the library, he'd found a quiet place to study, and he'd been quite efficient. He'd done all the studying he wanted to do, and that way he could take a nap before getting ready for his shift at the grocery store. His shift started at 6pm that day, meaning he would get off work at 11pm. He would finally be able to get a decent night of sleep.

 

Taeyong arrived at the grocery store to find out he had two new colleagues. The team manager, Taeil, introduced them. « Good evening Taeyong. This is Mark and Donghyuck. They will work here from now on. »

« Hi, » said the one called Donghyuck, « nice to meet you! »

Mark smiled and added « I hope we’ll get along well, please take care of us. » Taeyong smiled. At least, the newbies seemed nice enough. « Have you shown them around, Taeil? Or do you want me to do it? » Taeil seemed to consider the questions for a few seconds before answering. « I’ll let you do it if you don’t mind. I’ve got some calls to make. Thank you! » Taeil left them to go to his office. There was an awkward silence before Taeyong laughed. « Taeil is a bit strange sometimes, like he’s in his own universe, but he’s a really good manager. How old are you guys? » Taeyong said cheerfully. Everyone liked Taeil but he _was_ a weird guy.

« I’m 18, and Mark is 19. » Donghyuck said.

«We’re young but we’ll work diligently, don’t worry. » Donghyuck added as he saw the surprised look Taeyong shot. « Alright, I’ll show you around then. Come with me. »

Taeyong had let the surprise show on his face, and he had the feeling Donghyuck hadn’t liked it because he wanted to be taken seriously. Taeyong didn’t mind that they were younger than him, really. He was just surprised because he'd never seen them around, which meant they weren’t from here. This part of the city was poor, but the rest of the city was mostly well-off. Kids like them usually had parents to financially support them, and even if they had to work for some reasons, they didn’t come to work night shifts at this convenient store. It paid alright, but going home afterwards could be dangerous.

As promised, Taeyong showed them around. He then explained how the cash register worked, how to stock the shelves, and so on. They eventually got to do some actual work an hour before the end of their shift, and then it was time to go.

« I’m going this way. What about you guys? » Taeyong asked them, as they exited the store. They were going the same way, so they started walking in a tired yet comfortable silence.  
« I’m actually glad you’re not going home by yourselves. You should be careful, this area is quite sketchy… I’ve never been assaulted or anything, but there are some weird people wandering around here ...» Taeyong said carefully. He didn’t want to scare them, but at the same time they needed to know. The two younger men nodded.

« How long how you been working at the grocery store, Taeyong? » Mark asked. « I started right after high school. I moved around here to attend college and I needed the money. I still do. It’s a bit of a shit job really, but it pays the bills. » He tried to erase all traces of bitterness in his voice, but he wasn’t sure he quite managed to do so. He didn’t want to think about high school. He didn’t want to think about everything he'd lost.

They were now close to the apartment block, so Taeyong spared them from answering by saying he lived there. Haechan and Mark exchanged a look before Mark said « We live here too. » That surprised Taeyong. He knew all his neighbours and he was quite positive he had never heard of a « Donghyuck » or a « Mark » before. He hadn’t seen a moving van in the last few days, and his roommates would have told him if they had seen one, too.

« Really? When did you move in? I’m quite sure I’ve never seen you around before. » Mark looked a bit embarrassed as he answered. « We moved in just yesterday. We saw the store was recruiting and Taeil hired us right away. » Taeyong was still bothered by the absence of a moving van, but he wasn’t going to pry.

« Alright guys. I’m on the 7th floor. Don’t hesitate to come by if you ever need anything. » Taeyong said with a smile. They went in the elevator and the ride was silent. They exchanged good nights and Taeyong went out of the elevator, letting the kids go home. He pushed the thoughts of having new neighbours to the back of his mind. He’d tell his roommates later. Right now, all he wanted to do was take a warm shower and go to sleep. And that was exactly what he did.

*** ***

Ten rubbed his tired eyes. He'd spent the day sorting all sorts of problems out. They needed more furniture, and to go grocery shopping. He'd checked his bank account, as he was the only one in the group to have one, and he'd found that there wasn’t as much money as he'd thought. It was more than enough to buy everything they needed for now, but he needed to spend the money wisely so as to make it last as long as possible.  
Thanks to the dean, they didn’t have to worry about the rent. And Mark and Haechan had found a job, so it should be alright. Yet, he couldn’t help but worry. Haechan and Mark coming home forced him out of his thoughts.

« Hi guys, how was it? There’s some leftovers from dinner waiting for you in the kitchen, I’m sure you’re both pretty hungry. » Ten got up from the sofa where he was comfortably sat to great his brothers.  
« You look like shit Ten. You should go get some sleep », Haechan replied, « you look more tired than us who’ve just worked a 5-hour shift. » Mark giggled next to Haechan but said nothing.  
« Hey, show me some respect, you little punk! » Ten exclaimed as he started attacking Haechan by tickling him. Haechan was so ticklish, in a matter of seconds he could already barely breath because he was laughing too hard.

« Help me! » He implored Mark between two breaths. « Oh, no, you had this coming. » Mark answered with a smirk. The loud sound of Haechan’s laugh got the other boys out of their room.  
Jisung threw a pillow at them for being too noisy, and soon enough they were all fighting and tickling one another. It was Ten against everyone, and the other fighting each other to get to fight Ten. Eventually, they were all out of breath, and Ten called for a truce.

« Alright, everyone. Enough fighting, we’re all going shopping tomorrow. So I want all of you — except Mark and Haechan of course— to go to sleep right now. All right? » Ten didn’t have to use an authoritative tone. The idea of going shopping got them all excited. They didn’t want to be tired for that, so they all went to their respective rooms without causing any more trouble.

« Ah, these kids… » Ten sighed. He went to the kitchen with Haechan and Mark. « So, tell me all about your work. » And they did, as they were having dinner. Mark told him about their responsibilities and everything they had to do. After that, Haechan described the manager and their new colleague. « And he lives in here too! On the 7th floor! » Haechan said enthusiastically. He had quite liked Taeyong, he thought working with him would be quite nice. « Oh really? » Ten replied. « And what’s his name? »

Haechan answered after swallowing a mouthful of rice. « His name’s Taeyong. He’s really nice Ten! He’s quite your type too. » Ten felt all trace of blood leave his face. Taeyong wasn’t a very common name. Was it the same Taeyong he knew? Shit, they were living in the same apartment block?! He couldn’t panic, not in front of his little brothers. Mark seemed to notice something was wrong, though.

« Are you ok Ten? You look pale all of the sudden. » Ten forced himself to smile. « Sorry, I hadn’t realised how exhausted I was. I’ll let you guys get ready to go to sleep. Good night! » He kissed them on the top of their heads and made his way to his room. He breathed in and out and forced himself to calm down. He couldn’t scare Jisung, he couldn’t let his feelings show on his face. After a few seconds, he opened the door to an empty bed. He furrowed his brows and noticed a small note on the sheets

I’m sleeping in Chenle and Renjun’s room tonight, you move too much in your sleep hyung ~  
Rest well hyung, you look like you need it  
— Jisung <3

Ten was actually grateful. He needed some space for himself. He hoped the three of them would manage to get some sleep. They should be alright, he thought. The beds were large enough. He took off his clothes and lay comfortably under the blankets. If the Taeyong who lived just downstairs and who worked with Haechan and Mark was the same as the one he’d met at the university, it could actually make it easier for him to keep an eye on him. He could even get some information through his brothers. It scared him that someone who might be an enemy lived so close, but he now had an advantage. He felt calmer and once again mentally pictured walking through the woods to fall asleep.

At 6am sharp, Ten woke up. His body was programmed to do so, and his internal clock had never failed him. He got up, brushed his teeth and dressed up as silently as he could before he left the apartment. He was wearing his combat outfit, the one he always wore when he went on missions where he needed to be discreet. It consisted in black sport shorts on black thermal leggings and a black long-sleeve undershirt. With that, he sometimes wore a black hoodie — it was useful to hide his face — but it was still summer. He would be way too hot. He opted instead for a black baseball cap. He put on his black trainers instead of the black tactical boots he wore on missions and he was ready to go.

As he left his room, he noticed a large mirror next to the front door, and gave himself a once-over. He hadn’t seen his reflection in months; he usually avoided looking at it. It had been so long, his body had changed quite a lot. He was still short — his genes had failed him. It was no news that some of his brothers were taller than him, despite him being the oldest. He was more muscled, though. His legs hadn’t been that brawny last time he’d checked. His eyes moved up to his face. His black hair fell on his forehead like some sort of bangs. He'd have to cut it soon. His eyes were colder than before, and he gave a quite serious, almost threatening impression. He checked his pierced ears. Maybe he should get a new piercing to mark the occasion of them finally having a place to call home. He already had eleven of them, but he quite liked how they looked on him.

Eventually, he stepped away from the mirror and left their home.

Ten loved running. He was good at it, really. He had stamina and he could run fast, too. Sprinting was what he liked the most. But he usually kept it to a moderate pace, so as to run for an hour or two without feeling too out of breath. Running made him feel serene. It helped him focus on the day ahead, kept him in good shape, and it allowed him to wind up.

After an hour or so, he made his way back to their apartment. As he approached the apartment block, he noticed someone going out of it. He felt his heart beat faster as he recognised Taeyong. Luckily, he managed to hide in a small side path before the other man could spot him. He looked at his watch. It was 7:46am. He made a mental note to check the following day if Taeyong left the building at the same time. He needed to figure his schedule as soon as possible anyway, he might as well start now. Taeyong was a mystery he intended to solve as soon as possible. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading <3  
> The song Taeyong is listening to is strangers by biosphere (ft. love-sadKiD, Chris Wright, CIKI) and you'll find it here : https://soundcloud.com/officialbiosphere/strangers-ft-love-sadkid-chris-wright-ciki
> 
> I kinda liked Taeyong's hair colour in Cherry Bomb so I'm sticking to that for now ~ 
> 
> Please leave comments to let me know how it was :)


	3. Another pain, another page

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things get rough in this chapter ! I updated the tags.  
> There are mentions of death, blood, quite a lot of violence, and depressive behaviour. Please be careful, don't read if any of this is a trigger to you 
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy this chapter ~

_Time flies_ , Ten thought. The school year started the next day. He’d gone shopping with his brothers just two weeks ago, but it felt as if it had happened yesterday. Since then, the days had gone by smoothly, each one melting into the other. Everything had felt grey. He was finally able to settle down, they were all safe at last, but Ten had rarely felt so down.

Each day was the same routine; wake up at 6am, go for a run, train some more at home, shower, stalk Taeyong, go home to his brothers and rest and have some sort of fun with them.

« Hey hyung, » Jeno said, « can I talk to you for a sec? » Ten realised he had been staring out the window for a while now. He didn’t even remember sitting there. He didn’t remember what he was doing before spacing out either. He turned around to face his younger brother, who was watching him carefully.

« I know you’ve been in one of those moods lately … I'm quite concerned, we all are actually. I’ve never seen you like that for so long. We all have our own issues, we all are quite fucked up. » Jeno said that with a bitter laugh.

Jeno’s parents had abandoned him when he was 13. One day, he'd found their cramped apartment empty after coming back from school, and he’d never heard from them again. After that, he'd been put in foster care, but he'd run away after a few months. He was taller than most kids his age, but he was a softie. Kids would always come to him for troubles, and he would always be the one to get punishments. He’d lived on the streets after that, until Ten found him. Ten had given him a new name and a new family. He’d saved him. Now it was his turn to help the older.

« I don’t know what I can do to help. And going to a psychologist is out of question, obviously. But you have to stop keeping everything to yourself. All these secrets, all these responsibilities… They’re eating you alive hyung. It’s disheartening to watch you… »

Ten interrupted him by putting gently his palm on the younger’s mouth. « Shhh, just shut the fuck up Jeno. » He said with no hostility in his voice. 

« I’m sorry for worrying you all, but there’s nothing you can do. I’m … not fine, to say the least. My head’s so messed up. I feel like I don’t have a purpose anymore. I feel like a burden, although I know I’m not. » 

He looked his brother in the eyes to make sure he understood how serious his words were. He’d never admitted that to anyone, but Ten had never thought anyone cared to begin with.  

« It’s like I’m looking for something but I can’t find what it is. What am I on this Earth for? What am I called to do? Will I ever know? » He stared at the wall besides Jeno, unable to look him in the eyes. « Some days, it’s so hard to be me, to just… live. » He added in a whisper. 

He didn’t even have it in himself to cry. He felt so empty, so pathetic. He closed his eyes, wishing Jeno would just go away. But he didn’t. He hugged Ten, held him tight in his arms to let him know he was not alone. And for now, that was enough.

 

*** ***

 

Taeyong was ready to go back to university. He hadn’t really had a summer break, but he didn’t mind. He'd saved a fair amount of money, and he felt safe for the first time in a while. His sacrifices were beginning to bear fruits. He'd always been convinced he’d make it through, but at last he could actually see it happening. He was in a good mood as he got ready for his first day of classes.

He was just leaving the apartment block when he spotted a vaguely familiar silhouette sat on one of the steps. « Ten? » He called. The other man stood up and turned around.

« Hey Taeyong! Long time no see » Ten said with a smile. « I thought I’d wait for you so that we can go to the university together! »

Taeyong considered this for a second before he felt a rush of adrenaline. How the fuck did Ten know where he lived?! This man was dangerous, Taeyong felt it once again as the other was waiting for an answer with a cute smile. Taeyong didn’t even try to fake smile.

« What the fuck is wrong with you? Leave me alone. How did you even find out where I live? What is it you want? I’ll fucking call the police if you don’t explain yourself. » Taeyong said with the most threatening voice he could manage. He knew he could be scary when he wanted to, and Ten took a step back, so he assumed he did look threatening.

« Wow, calm down, hyung. I’m not here to hurt you, I just wanted to talk with my cute senior! » Ten replied with another cute smile. « Let’s go now, or we’ll be late! » 

Ten grabbed the other’s wrist and violently pulled him close to him.

« I won’t ask this twice, so think carefully before giving me your answer. » He whispered threateningly into Taeyong’s ear. « Do you work for the government? Are you a sympathiser? »

Taeyong held his breath. Ten had gone from let’s-be-best-friends to I-could-coldly-kill-you-right-now in less than a second.

But Taeyong couldn’t think. Ten’s question was echoing in his mind, bringing back old yet vivid memories. He was back at his parents’ house, watching it burn to ashes again. A neighbour was holding him tight, not letting him go.

He could feel the warmth of the raging fire on his skin. He could smell the acrid smell of his home being consumed by flames. He could feel the tight grip of the neighbour on his arms. He could hear the neighbour calling his name.

Except the voice was wrong. Everything was wrong. He wasn’t at his parents’ house; he was on the stairs that led to his apartment block. He blinked a few times and managed to focus on a face that was staring at him with a look that showed concern and something else he couldn’t quite identify.

 _Ten_ , he thought. Right, Ten had asked him something. He should probably answer him; he didn’t like the look on Ten’s face.

« I’m not working for the government, alright? Can you please let go of my arms? It kinda hurts. »

Ten loosened his grip slightly but didn’t let go.

« You freak out like that and you expect me to just believe you? What the fuck just happened?! » 

Taeyong sighed. He needed an explanation that was close enough to the truth that Ten would believe him, but he couldn’t give him too much.

« Last time I heard someone ask this, people ended up dead. I’d rather not die, or have you die, so just trust my word. I have nothing to do with the government. I’d like to keep it that way. Alright? »

Ten seemed to believe him. He let go of Taeyong’s arms, and reached for his cheek. Taeyong flinched and closed his eyes, but opened them again when he felt no pain. Ten had a undecipherable look in his eyes, and he suddenly rubbed the other’s cheek gently. He half smiled before turning around. « We're gonna be late if we don’t hurry up a bit. Come on, let’s go. » 

 

*** ***

 

Ten had been impulsive, but it had worked. Now he knew for sure that Taeyong was hiding something, probably a dark secret that involved him, somehow the government, and people dying. He'd already done some research on Taeyong, but now that he knew what he needed to look for, he’d be easier.

He _needed_ to find out what this was all about. He was obsessing over something that was obviously none of his business, but he was very nosy, and very good at finding information. That was why he was a valuable asset to act against the government, and that was also why the government so dearly wanted to find out who he was and to capture him.

Ten should probably have listened to the professors introducing their classes, but by the end of the day, he'd barely retained anything they'd said. He had taken many notes though, so he should be alright.

The only thing he could think about was Taeyong, and their encounter earlier that day. He was craving to find out more about the young man, and he felt a rush of adrenaline as the day came to an end. He was finally free to do some research. He smiled to himself. He really enjoyed looking for information.

He went home quickly, whistling almost happily to himself. As he entered the apartment, his younger brothers all but jumped on him to find out how his first day of university had been.

All of his younger brothers had fake IDs indicating that they were 18. It was easier that way, they all started university at the same time, in their first year. Ten hoped they would be alright with their studies, but if he were being honest, he didn’t know how long they would get to stay in this place.

The second it became too dangerous, they would all have to run away. Again. But he couldn’t think about it just now. He had to be strong for them. So he smiled, and listened to his brothers joyfully telling him about their professors and their different classes.

« Can you believe, it’s only the first day, and a girl has already asked Chenle if he had a girlfriend! » Jisung said jealously.

« I can’t help it if I’m the cutest! » Chenle answered with his brightest smile. Renjun nodded at that.

But Ten wasn’t really listening anymore, he was already thinking about how he would proceed to find pieces of information on Taeyong and his mysterious past. He looked up and noticed that Jaemin and Jeno were being uncharacteristically quiet. 

Jaemin was leaning against Jeno, and the former had closed his eyes, while the latter was ruffling his hair gently. Ten smiled fondly. He'd noticed a few months ago that the relationship between the two had started to evolve into something else, and he was glad they had found each other. 

It must be nice to have someone to rely on, someone who would understand you like no one else did. But Ten didn’t have that luxury, and he couldn’t afford to trust anyone like that. It would be too dangerous. He sighed a little and got up. 

« I’ve got a bit of work to do guys, I’ll be in my room. Haechan and Mark should be home around 8, it’d be nice if you could cook dinner by then. Please don’t burn the apartment. Love you guys! » 

He was already smiling by the time he reached the knob of his door. He wouldn’t be able to stop until he had found the answers he was looking for, so he put himself to work immediately.

 

It took him five hours, but he had a more or less precise idea of who Taeyong was, and of what had happened to him.

He’d been right all along. Taeyong meant trouble. Now that Ten knew about his past, the best thing to do was to avoid him altogether.

But Ten had a history of not listening to reason. So he grabbed a hoodie and headed outside.

 

*** ***

 

It had been an uneventful day for Taeyong, except for his encounter with Ten. He'd listened to useless presentations about his classes for the semester, he'd gone to work and done his shift, and now he was going home to sleep a bit. Just a typical day in Taeyong’s life.

Everyday felt the same, he thought, as he was walking on the barely lit streets. His encounters with Ten had been the only sparks in his monotonous life. And even if the man had been a pain in the ass so far, Taeyong was actually grateful to have something else to think about other than university and his multiple part-time jobs. He smiled bitterly to himself. The guy had made him have quite an awful flashback just a few hours ago, and yet he thought of him as something positive.

« Hey what are you doing all alone so late at night uh? » Taeyong felt a shiver run through his spine as the unknown voice called him out. It only made him walk faster. Damn, the neighbourhood _was_ sketchy.

« Where you going so fast? Come on, I don’t bite man. I just wanna have a nice chat! » _Yeah, right._ Taeyong needed to get out of there but he couldn’t take the risk to run. He looked ahead of him and saw two men standing in the middle of the road. He didn’t think and took a side path on his right. It was a slight detour, but — 

« Yo bro, you in a hurry or something? » _Shit. Shit. Shit._ It was obviously a trap. There were two other men standing just a few meters ahead of him. He couldn’t turn back, he knew the others were probably heading their way. He was trapped.

He took a deep breath. He could take the two first out before the others arrived, but he had to act _now_. He forcibly relaxed. « Yeah, I just want to go that way. Now if you’ll excuse me. » He said with fake nonchalance. The two men pulled out knives. Taeyong was ready to hit them when someone thundered behind him.

 « Y'all are so fucking dead! »

Taeyong recognised Ten’s voice. He had never heard him sound so properly murderous. That gave him some confidence to get rid of the two men facing him. 

He took advantage of the distraction to punch the first man hard in the throat. The shock made him let go of his knife. It fell on the ground, the sound echoing around them. The other man moved to stab Taeyong in the gut, but the latter used the body of the man he had first punched to protect himself. 

He pushed the both of them hard against the wall on his left. He grabbed the one who still had a knife by the collar and punched him hard in the jaw. He felt blood on his hand as he broke the skin of that guy’s lips. The man tried to retaliate, but Taeyong didn’t let him. He gave him a powerful kick with his right leg before crashing him again against the other man who was still lying by the wall.

He was about to run when someone grabbed his arm. He tensed, ready for another fight. But it was just Ten under the hoodie. He nodded in acknowledgement and they both ran.

They ran for a while, making detours and stopping every now and then to make sure no one was following them. Taeyong led them eventually to an elementary school, and they made their way to its rooftop. They would be safe there. They stayed silent for a while, catching their breaths.

« I didn’t think you could fight. » Ten said at last. He'd been impressed by Taeyong’s fighting skills. Taeyong only hummed in response.

As the adrenaline faded away in his system, he realised he didn’t have much energy left. He stumbled to sat on the rooftop and gestured for Ten to do the same. They sat next to each other, and Taeyong laid his head on the other’s shoulder. If Ten was surprised, he didn’t comment on it.

« What do you want from me, Ten? Why do you keep appearing when I expect you the least? Who are you? I don’t even know if I should trust you or run away from you. »

« You shouldn’t trust me, I guess. But I don’t want you to run away either. »  Ten replied after a pause. « I find you interesting. »

They were silent again. Taeyong didn’t know what to say. Ten never really answered any of his questions, it was getting frustrating.

« Can’t you just tell me something about yourself? Anything? » Taeyong said a bit desperately.

Ten sighed. « Well, I can fight too. I mean, I took care of the other guys earlier, when I thought you needed my help. »

Taeyong thought Ten would add something, but he didn’t. Taeyong had had enough of this bullshit. He jumped to his feet. « I’m going home. Bye. And thanks, I guess. » He said dryly. Ten got up and reached to stop him. Taeyong snapped. « Leave me the fuck alone! Either you want to talk, or you don’t. But if you don't want to tell me anything, don’t bother coming anywhere near me. »

 

*** ***

 

Ten watched Taeyong storm off. He couldn’t talk to him. He shouldn’t. With so much at stake, he couldn’t afford to take the risk of trusting someone. He needed to be strong, to let Taeyong go.

Except he couldn’t. He was tired of his responsibilities, tired of the perpetual weight on his shoulders, tired of feeling either numb or desperate. He had to open up to someone, or he’d go insane. He clenched his fists and ran after the other man. He got to his level right when he was about to climb down the roof.

« Wait! I want to talk. It’s just that I’ve never done this before, I don’t know how it works. » Taeyong stopped and looked the other in the eyes. Ten felt raw and vulnerable, but he didn’t try to hide it for once. 

Taeyong turned to face him properly, and gently squeezed his hand. Ten smiled faintly to the man. They came back to the rooftop and sat next to each other, their legs dangling in the void. Ten looked to the stars and began to tell his story.

« I grew up in the foster care system. We lived with other abandoned kids in a governmental institution. It was quite awful, kids were mean to one another and the people who worked there didn't really care about us. It was bad, but it only got worse once the new government took power. Some kids started to disappear. The state of the institution started to decay. The building got dirtier as the years went by, there was no more heating during winters, less and less adults took care of us … In the end, I ran away with the help of an older boy named Taeil. »

Ten stopped talking for a few seconds. He'd never told this to anyone, not even to his brothers. But sometimes, it's easier to confide in a stranger than in people you've known for years. Taeyong took his hand again and gave it a gentle squeeze. Ten thought he’d let go afterwards that but he didn’t. It made Ten feel weirdly emotional, and his voice shook a bit as he kept going.

« Fast forward to me being 12 and having lived on the streets for a year or two with Taeil. That winter was particularly rough on us. We stole what we could to eat, we slept where we could, but it was getting hard. We were so skinny, we thought we’d die. » He paused briefly. He was choosing his words carefully.

« We grew careless. Usually, we would sleep in a place for a couple of days and go somewhere else. But not this time. We’d found an abandoned house whose power was still working somehow, and it was isolated enough that no one would see us. »

« On a Friday night, something terrible happened. It was late at night, and Taeil and I were sound asleep. A faint noise woke both of us up with a jolt. We heard people surrounding the house. I remember seeing the sheer terror in Taeil's eye. We jumped to our feet and ran to the last floor to get on the roof. Taeil didn’t make it that far. He was right behind me when the men burst into the room we were in. Taeil pushed me forward as they grabbed him. He sacrificed himself to give me a chance to run away. »

« I managed to get to the roof. From there, I jumped on a tree that was close to the house and ran for my life. But I wasn’t fast enough. One of those men got to me before I could disappear in the night. He tackled me and I fell hard. I didn’t scream; I didn’t want other men to show up. The man got to his feet, and I searched the ground around me in utter panic. He reached for me, and I let him grab me. He gave me a rough punch in the jaw, and black dots clouded my vision. »

Ten closed his eyes as the vivid memories replayed in his head.

« As he grabbed my shoulder to drag me to my feet, I stabbed him in the neck with a sharp stone I'd found on the ground. I put as much strength in it as I possibly could. There was blood everywhere. I dropped the stone and ran; I didn’t look back, not even once. »

Ten waited with his eyes still closed. He didn’t dare look at Taeyong. He didn’t want to see the disgust and fear in his eyes.

After what felt like hours, Taeyong let go of his hand. Ten thought he’d cry or something, but he just felt numb. Of fucking course no one could hear this and just think it was ok. He’d been stupid and weak and he hated himself for it. 

He jolted as he felt two cold hands on either side of his head. His eyes jerked open and he let Taeyong turn his head gently so that he could look him in the eyes.

« Those men … Who the hell were they? »

« Fucking agents from the government. I don’t know what they needed kids for, but kids in foster care and on the streets all over the country were going missing at that time. » Ten answered weakly.

He waited for a reaction from the other man, but nothing came. Seconds, minutes passed by, and Taeyong did nothing but stare at him. He looked at his eyes, his eyebrows, his nose, his cheekbones, and finally, his lips. He took it all. And, finally, he smiled faintly. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me longer to update. I'm back at uni, and I've had some personal issues that made it harder for me to be in the mood to write. I hope this chapter is alright tho...
> 
> I don't know if I'll be able to update once a week now that I have classes again, but I'll do my best ! 
> 
> Please leave me a comment to tell me how it was <3
> 
> If you have any questions or just want to talk, here's my [tumblr](http://scurrile-histrion.tumblr.com)
> 
>  


	4. Night Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I couldn't update earlier, I'm really busy with school ;w;  
> This chapter mentions blood and violence, but I guess it's not as violent as the chapter before ? I'm quite satisfied with it anyways, so I hope you'll like it <3

There are moments in life when you have to make a choice. Such moments can be life changing. You are standing on a crossroads; you have to make a decision without knowing where the path you choose will lead you.

Ten knew that that night had been such a moment. He had decided to open up to Taeyong, and he didn’t know the consequences of his choice.

Yet he felt no fear. He had made up his mind. He would go down that road, no matter what. And maybe, along the road, he would find happiness.

*** ***

Things had changed after that night. Taeyong had started to notice those small yet significant differences in his life.  
He never went home alone after his shifts anymore. Ten was always waiting for him outside, a block or two away. He never said how he knew when to come pick the older up; Taeyong had never asked.

They had a tacit agreement. Ten opened up to Taeyong from time to time, and Taeyong never insisted when Ten didn’t feel like answering one of his questions.

Taeyong smiled more often, too. Yuta had been the one to notice first. He'd said he'd never seen Taeyong look so relaxed and happy.  
Even his shifts and classes felt somehow more bearable than they used to.

The only thing that clouded his general content was something that Ten had told him that night.  
It wasn’t about the murder or the general violence of Ten’s past.  
It was about the boy he’d had to leave behind. More precisely, his name. _Taeil_. Just like his manager.

Taeyong wanted to believe it was a coincidence. That name wasn’t _that_ uncommon.  
But Taeyong didn’t believe in coincidences. As Yuta put it, there was no such thing as a coincidence in this world, there was only the inevitable — he was pretty sure Yuta had read it in a manga or something though.

So Taeyong decided to investigate. He should probably tell Ten, but he didn’t want to worry him if it was nothing. He’d tell him if he found something, anything, that would link Taeil to the government or to Ten.

  
A couple of weeks after the beginning of the school year, Taeyong finally found something.  
That day didn’t feel different from the others when Taeyong got up. He went to his classes and had lunch with Sicheng, an exchange student he found adorable.

« Who are you texting, Sicheng ? You keep smiling every time you receive a text. » Taeyong said with a smile. Sicheng blushed before answering it was Yuta. The two of them had met at Taeyong’s flat and had immediately gotten along.

« We’re dating actually » Sicheng said weakly. He was staring down at his plate, avoiding Taeyong’s gaze.

The latter reached out for Sicheng’s hands.

« I’m so happy for you! Congrats dude! Seriously, you two look good together. » Taeyong said enthusiastically. Sicheng looked quite relieved and they resumed eating.

They were about to leave when Taeyong spoke up.

« Hey… Actually, I was wondering if you could help me. If you were to find information about someone, without leaving any trace of it, how would you proceed? »

Taeyong had wanted to look Taeil up on the internet, but he couldn’t do it with his computer, and those of the school required identification. It was too risky either way.

« It depends on your resources I guess. You could buy a computer on the black market and ditch it afterwards. You could steal a student card and use one of the computer here. Or you could use Tor from your computer. » He answered thoughtfully.

« To put it simply, Tor is a software that allows you to protect your privacy. However, the website you access through it will keep a trace that someone using Tor is visiting their website. I hope this’ll help you ! »

Taeyong thanked him profusely and they parted ways outside the cafeteria. Taeyong was grateful Sicheng wasn’t a nosy person, because he couldn’t possibly have told him the truth.

He decided to go to the library. He took his computer out of his bag and got to work.

His manager’s full name was Moon Taeil. He found many results online, but none seemed to match his manager. It was both weird and frustrating. He wasn’t on any social networking sites, and there was no picture of him online. Taeyong found that extremely suspicious.

He let out a frustrated growl. He had spent the last hour on the internet, through Tor, and yet he’d found nothing. He sighed and got up. He had some classes to attend, and he’d better hurry if he didn’t want to be late.

 

Taeyong thought he was a quite smart person, but he couldn’t believe how reckless he'd been.

After his classes, he'd gone to the grocery store for his shift, and Taeil had been nowhere in sight. He'd picked the lock of his office and had started to look for something compromising. After a few minutes, he'd heard some noise. He'd quickly shut the door he'd left ajar and had hidden in a wardrobe.

And now he was trapped in the office with Taeil on the phone. He couldn’t let himself panic, so he decided he might as well eavesdrop on the conversation.

« Yes, we’re doing it tonight. We know he’ll come. We’ll get him, don’t worry. He won’t escape this time. »

Taeyong felt his blood run cold. Whoever Taeil was talking about, that person was in trouble. And Taeyong had never heard his manager talk with such an icy voice.

« We’ve put five men on it. They’ll get him and bring him to you by midnight. I’ll see you then. »

Taeil hung up and sighed. He got up and left his office.

Taeyong didn’t dare to go out of the wardrobe. He was slowly beginning to breath normally again when he received a text from Donghyuck.

 

where r u ? taeil was lookin for u he wanted u to take some frozen stuff from the reserve

Is he in the store rn ?

Nah he went 2 the bank

 

Taeyong felt relief wash over him. He quickly got out of the wardrobe and exited the office. He was safe for now.  
And Taeil definitely was hiding something.

 

  
Taeyong couldn’t help but feel concerned when Ten didn’t walk him home after his shift. He was almost at the apartment block when his eyes caught a collapsed form on the sidewalk. It was too dark to see what it was from the distance, so he got closer.

He gasped when he realised it was a man.  
And his heart skipped a beat when he realised it was Ten.

The man was in a poor state. It looked like he'd lost a fair amount of blood from several cuts and injuries. His face was bloody and swollen up. The smell of sweat, and blood, and dirt caught Taeyong’s nose and he thought for a second he’d throw up.

He knelt down beside the younger and tried to see if he was still conscious. Ten was breathing steadily, and his heart was beating quite fast. He barely opened his eyes when Taeyong tried to get a reaction out of him.  
Taeyong knew he should call for help, call an ambulance or something, but it would mean lots of trouble for Ten.

Instead, he put his right leg between Ten’s legs, brought Ten’s arm behind his neck, and finally placed his other hand on the younger’s knee. He lifted Ten and proceeded to take them home.

As he made it to his apartment, Taeyong wondered if this wasn’t a mistake. He didn’t know how he could explain this mess to his roommates. But he couldn’t afford to care about that, Ten needed his help.  
He unlocked the door of his apartment and went in, Ten still on his shoulders.

  
Taeyong was beyond grateful. Johnny had helped him carry Ten to the bathroom. Yuta and Taeyong had then proceeded to wash Ten up and had taken a look at his numerous injuries. Yuta’s parents were physicians, so he knew a thing or two that helped them take care of Ten.

They cleaned all the wounds on his body, then they started patching him up. He had several cuts on his abdomen. They probably required stitches. Thankfully, the cuts weren't that deep and they were quite narrow, so they managed to take care of that with Steri-Strips.  
After that, they took care of his face. It was a bloody mess. They cleaned it all, and used gauze and more Steri-Strips to try to fix that mess.  
Taeyong had noticed that one of Ten’s ankles was swollen, so they put some anti-inflammatory gel on it and wrapped it tightly in elastic fixation bandage.  
At last, they put band-aids on the small cuts he had on his hands and forearms.

They carried him to Taeyong’s room, put him on his bed and Taeyong put an ice bag on his ankle.

Johnny went back to the kitchen, where he'd been having dinner before Taeyong had shown up with a half-dead guy. Yuta fidgeted, he looked uncomfortable all of the sudden.

« So … What happened to him? Why is he not in a hospital? Are you in trouble? Is he? And who the fuck is he to begin with? » Yuta whisper-yelled to Taeyong.

« Sorry about that… This is Ten. I’ve told you guys a bit about him. I don’t know much more than you do. What I know for sure is that he’s trying to stay hidden, and going to the hospital would have meant getting a lot of questions. It didn’t seem like he’d lost too much blood? I don’t want him to die, but I know going to the hospital would be very troublesome for him… »

Taeyong didn’t feel very confident as he answered. Most people would have called an ambulance, but he'd made the choice not to. Was it a mistake? Would Ten be alright? He didn’t know, and he was starting to panic.

« Oh no. No panic attack, Taeyong. Ten needs you right now. Focus on taking care of him. You’ve made a choice, it’s too late to back out now. Deal with it later, now is not the time. »

Taeyong looked down at Ten’s body on his bed. He forced himself to focus on what he could do to help.

« Thank you for everything, Yuta. I’ll sleep on the floor beside the bed. I’ll see you guys tomorrow. »  
Yuta squeezed Taeyong’s shoulder before going out of the room.

Taeyong stared at Ten’s face. His left eye had swelled up. He would most certainly have a black eye. His lower lip was busted. His nose had swelled as well, but Taeyong was pretty sure it wasn’t broken. He had a cut on his left cheek, and a nasty injury on his right cheekbone that was now covered in gauze.

Taeyong felt his heart sink. He hadn't thought he'd care that much, but he couldn’t stand to see Ten beaten up like that. He checked the man’s breathing and heartbeat before switching the light off. He made himself comfortable on the floor and tried to get some sleep.

  
*** ***

Ten woke up with pain, stiffness in his whole body, and an overwhelming feeling of fatigue. He had a pounding headache, and every inch of his body ached. He bit down a painful growl before he tried to sit up straight on the bed.

His body screamed at the sudden mouvement, but Ten was too busy wondering where the fuck he was to give a damn about his pain. He'd escaped the ambush the night before. He remembered running away, but everything after that was a blur.

He looked around. He didn’t recognise his surroundings. Light filtering through the half-broken shutter revealed a perfectly tidied bedroom. He felt a surge of adrenaline as he heard someone move beside him.

He peered down on the floor to the sleeping body. He couldn’t help but cry out in surprise when he recognised Taeyong.

The latter was a light sleeper apparently, because the sudden sound immediately woke him up.

« Oh… You’re awake. How are you feeling? » Taeyong asked sleepily.

 _Well, like shit_ Ten wanted to answer. But his face hurt too much to go through the trouble of talking. He tried shrugging instead, but it made him cry out at the unexpected pain. They’d beaten him up quite thoroughly, apparently. Ten squinted his eyes shut, as if it would make the pain go away.

He flinched pretty hard when he felt a hand on his shoulder. His eyes shot open. He glared at Taeyong.

« Ok, just let me put some cushions behind your back, so that you can kind of sit ? » Taeyong said as he moved behind Ten. Ten thought he smelled like sweat, blood and antiseptic. Unless he was the one smelling like that.

« Is it alright like that ? » Ten answered by nodding faintly, and Taeyong beamed at him.

« You’ve lost blood yesterday. I’m gonna get you some water, so that your body can replace it. I’ll also give you some food and some painkillers. »

Taeyong got up and he turned around one last time before opening the door. « Oh, and you look like shit by the way. » He said with a teasing smile as he left Ten alone. Ten was too exhausted to care, but that almost made him smile.

 

They spent the day in Taeyong’s room. Ten didn't move from the bed, except to go to the bathroom at some point. It'd been a painful experience.

Taeyong had made Ten drink a lot. He'd given him smoothies and liquid food because Ten’s face was so bruised that chewing was just too much pain.

Ten had dozed off many times, but each time when he'd woken up, Taeyong had been there with him. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was that Taeyong was the one who’d found him. He knew he’d have to explain what had happened at some point, but he couldn’t bring himself to do that just yet.

« Don’t you have work, or classes, or something ? » Ten asked suddenly. It was the first words he'd spoken since Taeyong had found him, and the latter jumped a little in surprise.

« It’s Saturday, idiot. And I called in sick at work. » Taeyong answered with a small smile.

Ten just nodded and dozed off again. The painkillers Taeyong gave him every four hour didn’t help keep him awake, but he didn’t mind. His body needed to rest, and the less time he spent awake and in pain, the better. He’d have all the time in the world to talk with Taeyong once he felt better.

 

The next time Ten woke up, it was with a scream. His heart was beating fast and strong in his chest. Tears were running down his cheeks. He didn’t know where he was, he didn’t understand what was going on. He felt two hands pushing him down on the mattress.

« It’s alright, Ten. I’m here. Breath, Ten, breath. It’s gonna be alright. »

Ten didn’t recognise who was talking, but somehow it soothed him a bit. He dozed off once again.

  
When he woke up the following day, he was alone in Taeyong’s room. He checked the time on his watch. 6am sharp. He sighed and slowly tried to get up. His body protested at the mouvement, but the pain was a little less sharp now. He felt sore all over, but he’d live.

He followed the corridor on his left and found himself in a cramped kitchen. Taeyong was sat at the table, staring out the window with a huge mug of coffee in his hand.

« Oh, hey. Have a sit! You shouldn’t have gotten out of bed… » Taeyong sighed. « How are you feeling? »

Ten wasn’t sure how he felt about Taeyong being genuinely concerned about his well-being. But he'd chosen to trust the older boy, so he decided to actually answer his question.

« I feel like shit, but at least I’m alive. Thanks for taking care of me… I’m not sure why you did it, but I owe you my life. » Ten said bluntly. Talking hurt, and his voice sounded rasp to him. But he needed to say these words.

He looked Taeyong in the eye. « I’ll make it up to you, somehow. »

Taeyong looked slightly taken aback. « You don’t owe me anything. I’m just glad you’re not dead. » He blushed a little and Ten didn’t like the weird feeling in the stomach that sight gave him. What was wrong with him?

« At the very least, I owe you an apology. But first, I need to see my brothers and tell them I’m alive. I’ll be back in a hour or two, I promise. » He said as firmly as he could. He had to talk slowly and it was getting on his nerves.

« You’re not going anywhere! Or not alone, at least. Where do you live anyway? You never said. » Taeyong furrowed his eyebrows at that.

It was Ten's turn to blush. He hoped Taeyong wouldn’t be too mad, but it was past time he told him the truth. « I live on the eighth floor with my brothers. » He said with such a low voice he wasn’t sure Taeyong had heard.

« On the eighth floor? Of this building? What the actual fuck Ten!? How could you not tell me we were neighbours?! Well, that explains a lot, but still… Dude, seriously? » Taeyong exclaimed incredulously. He stopped talking for a second and shot Ten a puzzled look.

« Hang on… Do you know a Donghyuck and a Mark? » Taeyong asked suspiciously.

Ten felt trapped. He was still tired and injured, and this conversation was stressing him out. Taeyong must have felt it, because he dropped the subject suddenly.

« Alright, let’s go see you brothers. And yes, I’m coming. » He added before Ten could answer. Well, whatever, this situation was such a mess already.

  
*** ***

Taeyong and Ten took the elevator to Ten’s floor. Neither of them had said a word since Taeyong had decided to tag along. Ten didn’t hesitate as he opened the door.  
It was still around six in the morning, and yet, as Ten closed the door behind Taeyong, the older heard the sound of someone running towards them. He recognised Donghyuck mere seconds before he tried to kick Ten in the stomach. Taeyong instinctively put himself between Ten and Donghyuck, and the latter stopped just before hitting Taeyong.

« Taeyong. What are you doing here? » Donghyuck asked coldly. He turned slightly to face Ten properly.

« And you. Why. The fuck. Did you go missing for so long? You gave no news? We thought you'd died in a back-alley or something! And why do you look like someone used you as a punching bag?! You better explain yourself, Ten. » Donghyuck said icily.

If looks could kill, Taeyong and Ten would have been six feet under already. Donghyuck looked murderous. Ten sighed. « Hello to you too, Haechan. Let’s take a seat, alright? »

 _Haechan? As in Full Sun?_ Taeyong wondered. It was a weird nickname, way too cute for how tough Donghyuck looked right now.

They went to the living room, and Ten started telling them what had happened. Taeyong focused intently on his words.

« You know how I’ve been recruiting people at our university lately? » Taeyong absolutely didn’t, and he made a mental note to ask Ten about it later.

« Well, the organisation thinks it’s great and all, but they felt my « abilities » weren’t put to good enough use. So, three days ago, I received a message from them. They wanted me to go on a mission. I was supposed to tail some important guy and take pictures of him, nothing out of the ordinary, really. »

Some other young men joined them as Ten was talking. They all looked exhausted and were obviously restraining themselves from interrupting Ten or kicking him. Taeyong recognised Mark, and they nodded slightly at each other.

« I started to get suspicious after an hour or two. The guy was just standing outside a building, he was on the phone, but he really wasn’t saying anything interesting. I had a weird gut feeling. I thought, hell, I’ll just go home, but at the same time… Well, I had orders. So I fidgeted for a good thirty minutes, and that’s when they showed up. »

If the room was quiet before, now it felt like they were all holding their breaths, waiting for what was to come.

« They were five. Three of them came out of a car and went right for me, even though I was quite well hidden. Two of them were waiting a bit farther behind me. I was trapped. »

Five men. There were five men. Taeyong felt blood leave his face at that. Was it possibly what Taeil had been talking about in his office? He clenched his fists, preventing them from trembling too hard. He needed to listen to the whole story before he brought Taeil up.

« They made me walk with them to an isolated side road. Then, they beat the hell out of me. I’m a good fighter, so I did manage to fight back, but five to one isn’t anywhere near a fair fight. »  
  
« I thought I’d die, but apparently they wanted me alive. I was barely conscious when a fucking car showed up out of nowhere and went for us. I didn’t get to see who was driving, but I managed to dodge the car and ran for my life. Somehow, I almost made it home before I fainted. Taeyong found me and took care of me, and here I am. »

At that, Ten looked at his brothers. « I'm so sorry for worrying all of you. This was obviously an ambush. It means someone gave us false information… I’ll find out who it was, but in the meantime, we’re all going to lay low, ok ? »

Taeyong was speechless. Did Taeil really play a role in that mess? He tried to keep his face expressionless while Ten was being gently hugged by his brothers. He thought he was doing an alright job, until someone grabbed his shoulder.

Donghyuck was staring at him with an undecipherable look in his eyes. « Taeyong. Why do I get the feeling you’re hiding something? »

« Haechan! » Mark chimed in. « Ten just told us Taeyong had saved his life. What’s wrong with you? »

Taeyong wasn’t breathing anymore. He looked at Ten, who stared back. He forced himself no to flush.

« I do have something to tell you all. It’s about Taeil. »

Ten shot him a death glare, daring him to go further.

« About our manager? » Mark asked.

« He’s still alive, Ten. He’s our manager at the convenient store. He was talking about kidnapping someone with the help of five men right before that shit happened to you. »

Taeyong was still looking Ten in the eyes, until Ten broke the eye contact to pass out. This whole thing was such a mess, Taeyong thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't be able to write this week as I'm going on a study trip with my school ... But I'll try to update next week anyways !  
> As always, please leave a comment to tell me how it was <3


	5. It wraps around me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taeyong's past is partly revealed. Ten wakes up alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi... I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to give up on this fic or anything. I've went through some really tough stuff the past few months, but it's all better now, and I have enough time to write again!  
> I went through all the first four chapters too, and finally took the time to edit everything. Sorry if there were mistakes before ;w;  
> Also, I'm not really fluent in English so please tell me if some stuff sounds really weird to you.  
> I hope you'll enjoy this chapter ~

_A week before_  
  
It was a normal day in Ten’s not so normal life. He'd attended his morning classes and was now looking for a quiet place to have lunch on his own. There were some things he needed to think about.  
  
There were less and less students as he walked deeper into the park. Eventually, he spotted a nice, big oak tree whose shadow would protect him from the sun, and decided he’d eat there.  
  
Five minutes into his lunch, he heard people coming his way. He sighed. He just wanted some peace. He frowned as he looked at the intruders.  
  
They were two couples, probably looking for some quietness as well. Shockingly, they were all men, and they were publicly holding hands.  
  
Not that Ten minded. He himself knew he wasn’t straight. Hell, he didn’t give a flying fuck about other people’s sexual orientations.  
  
What surprised him what that they weren’t hiding their relationships. The government had made pretty clear that the only kind of romantic or sexual relationships that should exist was heterosexual ones. Everything else was considered devious. They could get in trouble if sympathisers were to find out. Fortunately for them, Ten was anything but a sympathiser.

The four of them had frozen once they’d realised they weren’t alone. Ten smiled at them. They were openly staring at him.  
  
Ten broke the silence first. « Hi! Is this your usual spot or something? Sorry, I just wanted some peace to think, and this place seemed perfect for that. » He said softly.  
  
« Nah, don’t worry about it. We’ll go some place else. » One of them said tightly. He was tall, with huge hands, but his soft face made him look anything but threatening.  
  
« Oh, no, please stay. I’ve had enough of alone time to think! » Ten said happily. He wanted to find out more about these four. Maybe they could be interesting for the organisation.  
  
« My name’s Ten. » He added decisively. Everything he said was deliberate. Now they wouldn’t want to leave, he was no longer a stranger to them. They knew his name.  
  
The tall boy shared a look with his partner and with the other couple, before looking back to Ten. They would stay, he knew it.  
  
« Alright, why not. I’m Yukhei, and this is Jungwoo. » The tall man said, gesturing to the one whose hand he was holding. « Be nice to him. » The _or else_ was unspoken, but Ten felt it nonetheless. Jungwoo looked even softer than Lucas, and smiled shyly at Ten.  
  
« I’m Jaehyun. » The man who spoke looked mature and collected. His partner glared at Ten before saying « Doyoung » drily.  
  
This would be fun, Ten thought.  
  
  
All in all, he'd been right. They could probably be useful. They all hated the government with their guts; it made them feel invalid. People thought they were freaks because of all the homophobic propaganda. They were willing to do something about it, and that was all Ten needed to start working on convincing them to join him in the organisation.  
  
Yukhei was impulsive and emotional, but he could do good in recruiting other people. He knew how to fight, too.  
Jungwoo looked too soft, and honestly Ten wasn’t sure what to do with him. But he'd noticed that he kept Yukhei grounded, so maybe they could work together.  
  
Doyoung and Jaehyun were a deadly duo. They were always bickering, but they worked in perfect sync, as Ten had noticed throughout their lunch. He felt they would do good together in infiltration missions.  
  
As their lunch break came to an end, they all walked back towards the main building. Ten didn’t ask for their phone numbers. He’d find them anyway, and he didn’t want to push them. They parted ways to go to their respective classes.

**** ****  
  
_Seven years before_

« Are you a sympathiser ? »  
  
Taeyong had gone downstairs as he’d heard a knock on their front door. It was late at night, and he'd been too busy surfing on the internet to bother going to sleep. He knew his parents were still downstairs, so he wasn’t surprised when he heard his mother’s voice ask the question with a serious tone he’d never heard her use before.  
  
The question made no sense to him. What in the hell was a sympathiser? Whatever the man who’d knocked on the door answered, he spoke too low for Taeyong to hear. His mother slammed the door in the person’s face and that was it.  
  
Taeyong didn’t miss the worried look his parents’ shared, but he didn’t give it much thought. He wouldn’t hear the end of it if his parents found out he was still awake this late at night, so he went back to his bedroom and tried to actually get some sleep.  
  
The next day was a normal day in Taeyong’s normal life. School was boring as per usual. He didn’t have friends. He just wanted to graduate but he wasn’t trying that hard. Maybe that was why his teachers weren’t very fond of him. Not that he cared. He kept his grades in check, and mostly people left him alone.  
  
He was on his way home when a weird looking man grabbed him by the arm. Taeyong didn’t have time to react, as the man half-dragged him on a deserted back-alley.  
  
« Your home is no more. Run now, before it's too late. Don’t ever come back here. » The man said before letting go of Taeyong’s arm. He was wearing a huge black hoodie, black trousers and combat boots. He starting walking away, as if nothing had happened.  
  
The meaning of the man’s words hit Taeyong seconds later, and he started running after the man. What the fuck did that mean? But before he could reach him, a car pulled over, the other man got in and the car rushed away.  
  
Taeyong was very, very confused. He had no idea what had just happened, yet he had an awful gut feeling. He rushed home, half walking, half running. As he got near, a smell of acres and smoke reached him. He coughed, and protected his nose and mouth with his sleeve.  
  
Then he saw it. His house, on fire, at the end of the road.  
  
He didn’t realise he was walking right into the fire until he felt a tight grip on his arms. One of the neighbours was holding him, not letting him go any further. She was talking, but Taeyong couldn’t hear a word. His head was buzzing, he felt dizzy. The neighbour called his name, again and again, until he finally looked at her.  
  
« My parents. » Taeyong said, not really a question. He knew they were supposed to be home, at that time. His mother was a professor at university, and most of her afternoons were free from classes, and his father worked from home.  
  
The neighbour held him more tightly. Taeyong felt cold, despite the raging fire. His world was gone, still burning in front of him. He did the only thing he could; he ran. He remembered the words of the man from earlier. He felt lost and desperate.  
  
He made it back to his school. He didn’t know where else to go; he'd just run. He bumped into one of his classmates. He didn’t remember ever talking to him, but he didn’t talk to anyone at his school so that was no surprise anyways.  
  
« Are you ok? » the guy asked.  
  
« My house is burning and I’m pretty sure my parents are dead and I don’t know where to go and everything’s so fucked up oh my God. »  
  
Before he knew it he was sobbing in his classmate’s arms. He didn’t care about embarrassing the latter, or himself. He was grieving his parents. Everything he knew and cared about was gone. He felt as if he’d never be fine again.  
  
_Present day_  
  
Taeyong wiped a tear that had somehow escaped his eyes. He’d let his mind wander in the past as he'd been watching Ten sleep in his bed. Ten’s brothers had been quite worried after Ten had fainted, but as they’d put him to bed, checked his heart rate, temperature and breathing, they’d concluded they were nothing more they could do but wait for him to wake up.  
  
Taeyong thought they weren’t worrying much, but he had then considered that it might not be the first time they saw Ten come home in such a state. It made his heart sunk. He sighed. On an impulse, he took Ten’s hand in his. It wasn’t too cold, and it somewhat reassured him. He scrutinised the younger’s face.  
  
« Why do I care so much about you? » he wondered out loud. Ten meant trouble. And yet, he felt irresistibly attracted to him.  
  
He felt angry against Taeil all of the sudden. Ten’s life was hard and dangerous enough. Taeyong couldn’t stand to see Ten hurt like that, and it was all his manager’s fault.  
  
He would find Taeil, and the two of them would have a long, probably not so nice talk.  
  
« I’m gonna make things right. » He said to Ten with determination. « I’ll be back. »  
  
He scrutinised Ten’s face one last time. He took it all in; even the smallest details, the smallest scars. He sighed deeply before getting up. He would be back; he had too.  
  
How could things go so wrong in so little time ? It felt like shitty stuff kept happening in Taeyong’s life. He'd been fine for a while, but now everything was spiralling out of control again. He'd lost his parents already, he didn’t want to lose anyone else. He didn’t care about many people. But he would do anything for those he did care about.  
   
That was why he'd gone to the convenient store where he worked. He didn’t know what he would do once he’d be face to face with Taeil, but he needed to see the bastard and make him pay somehow.  
  
He made it to Taeil’s office in what felt like no time. He didn’t remember the walk to the convenient store. He kept replaying the memories of the previous days in his head. Ten was in such a bad state, just thinking about it made him feel nauseous.  
  
He opened the door without knocking. Taeil was reading something at his desk, and his head shot up in surprise. Before he could say something, Taeyong strode to him, grabbed him by the collar and shoved him against the cupboard on the wall next to Taeil’s desk.  
  
« Taeyong! What the actual fuck?! » yelped Taeil.  
  
But Taeyong wasn’t done yet. He wasn’t thinking anymore. He punched Taeil in the face once, twice, before Taeil started fighting back.  
  
To say Taeyong was a good fighter was an understatement. He knew he was good at it, and he’d had a fair amount of opportunities to hone his skills in his life.  
  
But Taeil was an _amazing_ fighter. His punches and holds were cold and surgically precise. Soon enough, he gained the upper hand. In no time, Taeyong was on his stomach, Taeil sat on his back and started to strangle him with the inside of his elbow. Taeyong tried to fight, but Taeil’s grip was merciless. Everything went black as his brain struggled with the lack of oxygen.    
  
*** ***  
  
Ten woke up alone in his bedroom. He took the time to let his eyes accommodate to the dim light. It was probably the afternoon. He felt like shit, and he had the beginning of a headache.  
  
He tried to collect his thoughts. He remembered telling his brothers about the ambush. Then Taeyong had said something about Taeil. He didn’t remember anything after that, so he assumed he must have fainted after hearing the news.  
  
If that was true, if Taeyong was right… He wasn’t sure he wanted to think about what it would mean for the moment. He hissed in pain as he slowly got up. His body was still stiff and every movement hurt. It’d take a while to heal, he’d been injured pretty bad this time.  
  
He went to the kitchen. Mark and Haechan were cooking and Ten was starving. He sat at the table and watched his two younger brothers.  
  
Haechan was busy frying something in a pan while Mark was trying to be of help but everyone knew he had zero cooking skill. Honestly, Mark couldn’t cook to save his life. He’d once managed to screw up fried eggs. Even Ten could cook better than him, and Ten was a shit cook.  
  
Haechan, on the other hand, was one of the best cooks amongst them. He was currently humming an upbeat tune and dancing a bit along while whatever was in the pan was cooking, and looked quite satisfied with himself already.  
  
« Ok, it’s ready! » He exclaimed eventually. Mark beamed at him and sat next to Ten.  
  
« How are you doing Ten? Feeling any better now? » Mark said with a small smile. « Yeah, don’t faint like that, you almost got us worried. » Haechan added with a sarcastic tone.  
  
« Yeah, I’m fine. I’ve been worst I guess. » Ten ignored Haechan who rolled his eyes at that. « But I’m starving! What did you cook this time Haechan? »  
  
Haechan sighed at the not so subtle change of subject, but dropped it. « It’s just fried kimchi rice. I made it extra spicy, just the way you like it. »  
  
Ten grinned at that. Haechan sat down with them and they ate in silence. Ten started to feel better once he was done stuffing his face with food. He hadn’t realised how hungry he’d been. His jaw and face in general didn’t hurt as much as it did the day befoore, so chewing wasn’t that painful anymore.  
  
« Where’s Taeyong by the way? » He asked suddenly. « Has he gone home? »  
  
Haechan and Mark shared a look. « Well, he left a few hours ago. He looked… upset? He didn’t tell us where he was going though. » Mark’s voice sounded too uncertain for Ten’s liking. The latter didn’t reply. He reached for Mark’s phone and called Taeyong.  
  
*** *** 

As it turned out, confronting a potentially quite dangerous man who was probably a sympathiser and who casually planned kidnappings and stuff like that while pretending to be the manager of a convenient store hadn’t been Taeyong’s best idea. One of his worst ones, actually. If not _the_ worst.

Taeyong opened his eyes, and the artificial brightness made him feel sick. A sharp pain in his skull overwhelmed him at once and he found himself throwing up. Except he couldn’t really move; he was tied to a chair. He let out a muffled groan as he realised he couldn’t even wipe his mouth. He coughed and spat a few more times before sitting up straight and taking a look at his surroundings.

He was in a small room and he didn’t like that. It made him feel claustrophobic, even though he was not. The room looked grim. The walls consisted of grey corrugated steel – was he in a container? He started to panic and tried to make the chair move, but it didn’t move an inch. He looked down. The floor was wooden, but the chair was stuck in a sort of platform of concrete. There was no way he could get it to move. He looked at his ties next. His ankles were attached to the chair legs with red cable ties. His upper body was tied to the back of the chair with rope that was now half covered in puke. So were his hands, tied together and resting on his thighs.

Taeyong felt like crying, but mostly he was mad at himself. He’d been an idiot. He wondered for a second if this was the day he’d die. He shook his head. _Not today, Satan, not today_.  
  
A door opened behind him. The fact that he couldn’t even tell who was coming was even more nerve-wrecking. The person took their time, dragging something as they made their way to Taeyong. The latter was terrified. He could feel his heart beat fast and strong in his chest. Goosebumps, too, on his back, and on his arms. He shuddered violently; he felt like throwing up again. His eyes teared up involuntarily. He’d die there, alone, and it was all his fault for being impulsive and not thinking at all.  
  
Eventually, the person made it to Taeyong’s chair. They were just behind him, and they whispered in his ear « Listen carefully. You’ll do exactly as I say if you want to stay alive. »  
   
*** ***  
  
Ten was not the kind of person to panic. He always planned things carefully, and liked it when things went smoothly his way.  
Taeyong’s disappearance wasn’t part of the plan. But more than that, the fact that he cared was what upset him the most. He already had a family he cared about, and he hadn’t intended on caring about anyone else. Relationships are a weakness, one should only have so many. He shook his head. It was too late anyway; he cared about Taeyong, so now he had to help him. If it wasn’t too late already.  
  
After Mark had informed him that Taeyong had left, Ten had tried to call him. He’d left a dozen messages to his voicemail. He’d painfully made his way to the seventh floor, but Yuta and Johnny hadn’t seen Taeyong either. Ten had been surprised to see that one of Taeyong’s roommates was one of the guys he’d met just the week before, but he didn’t really care at that moment. He’d come back to his place afterwards.  
  
He was now sat on the sofa in the living room. He sighed deeply and called his brothers. They all joined him, sitting on the sofa, on the chairs around him or on the floor.  
  
« Alright, guys. It’s around 3pm.Taeyong left the appartement around 9am and hasn’t been seen since. We don’t know where he went or where he is now. We need to find him as soon as possible, and even though it’s not optimal, I’d like to involve other people. » Ten took a deep breath. He looked at his brothers, but couldn’t decipher whatever emotions they were feeling at that moment.

« I know that it’s definitely not the best idea, security-wise, but his life is probably in danger. »  
Haechan cut him by getting up angrily. « We just arrived here, and as much as I like Taeyong, I don’t want to jeopardise what we’ve struggled so much to build. I don’t want to die for some random guy you have a crush on! » He spat. Mark grabbed him by the elbow. « No one said anything about dying, babe, it’s ok. You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. »  
Mark’s words seemed to calm Donghyuck a bit. But the younger still looked murderous. He looked Ten in the eye. « If any of the kids get injured, it’s on you Ten. Jisung, Chenle, they’re not even legal, and you want them to what? Risk their lives for someone they don’t even know? And you want to ask other people to help too? It’s crazy, Ten. It’s just fucking crazy. »  
  
Ten was at a loss of words. He was ashamed, too. He needed help, but it wasn’t an official mission from the organisation. Haechan was right, it wasn’t fair of him to ask his brothers to help him. He looked at his feet and ran a hand in his hair. Then he straightened up, and looked at Jisung and Chenle, who were sat on the floor in front of him, with the same worried look in their eyes.  
Ten sighed. « I’m sorry. I’m sorry, everything’s so fucked up, and I’m not thinking straight. I don’t want to put any of you at risk. You’re my only family, and I love you all so much. But to be honest, I don’t think I can do this on my own. »

« No need to get all sappy on us, old man », Jeno joked. Ten smiled weakly. « I think we should all decide individually if we want to help you or not, but I’m in. » Ten’s smile grew wider at that.  
« Yeah, me too. Classes are getting boring anyways, I need some action. » Renjun added. « If these too are in, you can count on me too I guess. » Jaemin said with a shrug. Chenle and Jisung exchanged a few hushed words before agreeing to join too.

Ten looked expectantly at Haechan, who still looked mad but said nothing. Mark spoke instead. « You all have to realise that this is not a game. If Taeyong was right about Taeil, if our manager really is a sympathiser and Taeyong went to confront him, then we’re up against something way bigger than us. »  
« That being said… Ten, you’re our brother. You saved us all, and honestly, I think it’s fair to say we’d all die for you. Hopefully, none of us will ever have to, but Haechan and I are in. »  
Haechan was still frowning, but he nodded at Mark’s words.  
  
Ten was so grateful, it meant so much to him. He rubbed his eyes to gain some time to compose himself. His brothers noticed and they waited in silence for him to be ready to talk.  
  
« Thank you all so much. I promise I’ll do everything I can to make sure it’s as safe as possible. I’ve got some people I know who can help us. Two of them are Taeyong’s roommates, Yuta and Johnny. Yuta’s boyfriend, Sicheng, and two other guys, Doyoung and Jaehyun, will probably help us too. »  
« In the mean time, Mark, Haechan, can you go check at the convenient store? See if Taeil’s there? Don’t engage, don’t do anything weird. Just text me if he’s there or not. I’ll explain the whole thing with Taeil when everyone’s here. »  
« Chenle, Jisung, can you start setting up a network with the earpieces the dean gave us? We need to be able to communicate efficiently with everyone. You two will monitor that from here, you’re not going on the field on this mission. » They both groaned but nodded anyway. They knew there was no changing Ten’s mind, and they didn’t particularly feel like risking their lives anyway.  
« Renjun, Jeno, can you go and tell Johnny and Yuta to come here? Please ask Yuta to call Sicheng, Doyoung and Jaehyun and to tell them to come too. »  
« Jaemin, can you cook us something? And coffee too, please. I feel like we’re gonna be here for a while. »

« What about you? What are you gonna do? » Renjun asked.  
« I’ll contact the organisation and explain this mess. This is to big to keep it from them. » Ten said with a sigh. Renjun nodded and squeezed Ten’s wrist as he passed him.  
  
« Let’s do this. » Ten said to himself.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please let me know how it was in the comments <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading ! I'll try to update soon.


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